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Dearest Flare Up......You are an A#@HOLE!

7/12/2012

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My first significant flare up since diagnosis and I have now reached the stage of being pissed, which hovers right over depression. If I could punch my flare in the face I would, but I would only be punching myself. This flare up is like a house guest that has over stayed his welcome. I am glad you stopped by to remind me that I do have a chronic illness and I must take good care of myself, but I get the point and it is time to leave. I will celan up the mess you are sure to leave behind, just go.

Here are just a few examples why I am now at the pissed stage.

1. I had a date during the week right around when my flare up was starting. I didnt want to cancel becuase I was pretty excited and my body was still doing ok, my mind however was on a whole other planet. You know what I am talking about, it is like being high, but not the funny laugh at your cat kind of high only a teenager knows, but the holy crap I am paranoid, are those the cops? So, I didnt cancel my date, and I am sure I made a fool of myself. The brain fog is the worst! I would keep this pain any day if my mind would just be clear.

2. "You dont look sick". I hear this at least 5 times a day. God Damn it! I know I dont look sick, but my joints are on fire, I cant sleep and am pretty sure that if you ask me to spell anything with more than 3 letters in it, I will fail.

3. I screwed up at work all day today. I was making orderst that were not even close to the order the customer gave me, I could not lift more than 2 plates at a time, dropped 1 out of 3 things I picked up,  mumbled and looked at customers like they were from another planet when they asked me  a question that my RA fogged brain could not process.

4. Hello, is my Doc around? I dont know what to do. I called my Doctor, but while I wait what th heck do I do? I am working to the best of my ability, getting small stuff done, trying to resemble my normal self as much as possible, but what else can I be doing? Do I just wait? Should I pray? Drink some weird potion? Do a tribal dance? Sleep?  Guess I will just keep taking steriods until I here from my Doc or the roid rage begins, I wonder which will happen first? ;)

So, I have decided I am going to rest, because I really need it and while I am not sleeping I am going to develop a serious plan of attack against this flare up. I will snort steriods if that is what I have to do to get rid of this thing. Cross your fingers my Doc gets back to me stat so I can get this taken care of.


****excuse misspells or typo's, I am much to tired to copy paste and spell check*****

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Enbrel, Nursing, and Fingers..............oh my!

8/26/2011

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Where to start! The last two weeks have been crazy. Today marks the end to my first week of nursing school and I couldnt be happier. There were times over the last few months I did not think I would be well enough to attend nursing school. But, thanks to a great Rheumy here I am!  It seemed like so long ago that I was anxiously waiting to hear where I was at on the Nursing school start list and when I would be able to begin my studies. Then the RA diagnosis........Things were changing so fast I had almost completely forgotten about nursing school. My hopes of starting  were buried under a pile of pain and confusion.

Today, I am feeling great! 95%. The Enbrel has made a considerable difference. I am still not a fan of the injections, or the site reactions. However, that is a very small price to pay for the way I am feeling today. Pain is not totally gone. I have problems in my thumbs, a nodule of my foot still,  pain in my muscle's some days, and just a few minor side effects from the meds. My Doctor called this week and said all my blood work up looked good ( except low D3) and I am starting to wean off the prednisone. My health is headed in the right direction!

Now, if someone could just tell me how to get past this finger pain so I don't fumble so much during school procedures and give me some motivation to start working out that would be very helpful:):):)

***I am working on some cool additions to the page and will be adding much new material next weekend***

Sorry for the delay in adding new material, there are just not enough hours in the day. Have a pain free weekend!!!




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