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Dearest Flare Up......You are an A#@HOLE!

7/12/2012

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My first significant flare up since diagnosis and I have now reached the stage of being pissed, which hovers right over depression. If I could punch my flare in the face I would, but I would only be punching myself. This flare up is like a house guest that has over stayed his welcome. I am glad you stopped by to remind me that I do have a chronic illness and I must take good care of myself, but I get the point and it is time to leave. I will celan up the mess you are sure to leave behind, just go.

Here are just a few examples why I am now at the pissed stage.

1. I had a date during the week right around when my flare up was starting. I didnt want to cancel becuase I was pretty excited and my body was still doing ok, my mind however was on a whole other planet. You know what I am talking about, it is like being high, but not the funny laugh at your cat kind of high only a teenager knows, but the holy crap I am paranoid, are those the cops? So, I didnt cancel my date, and I am sure I made a fool of myself. The brain fog is the worst! I would keep this pain any day if my mind would just be clear.

2. "You dont look sick". I hear this at least 5 times a day. God Damn it! I know I dont look sick, but my joints are on fire, I cant sleep and am pretty sure that if you ask me to spell anything with more than 3 letters in it, I will fail.

3. I screwed up at work all day today. I was making orderst that were not even close to the order the customer gave me, I could not lift more than 2 plates at a time, dropped 1 out of 3 things I picked up,  mumbled and looked at customers like they were from another planet when they asked me  a question that my RA fogged brain could not process.

4. Hello, is my Doc around? I dont know what to do. I called my Doctor, but while I wait what th heck do I do? I am working to the best of my ability, getting small stuff done, trying to resemble my normal self as much as possible, but what else can I be doing? Do I just wait? Should I pray? Drink some weird potion? Do a tribal dance? Sleep?  Guess I will just keep taking steriods until I here from my Doc or the roid rage begins, I wonder which will happen first? ;)

So, I have decided I am going to rest, because I really need it and while I am not sleeping I am going to develop a serious plan of attack against this flare up. I will snort steriods if that is what I have to do to get rid of this thing. Cross your fingers my Doc gets back to me stat so I can get this taken care of.


****excuse misspells or typo's, I am much to tired to copy paste and spell check*****

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Feeling bad today....................

5/14/2011

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 I woke up this morning after a poor nights sleep and it took every ounce of energy I had to get out of bed. I cant tell if I am coming down with the flu, a sinus infection,  side effects of the methotrexate, or is this something to expect with RA? This is the worst I have felt since starting my meds a month ago. I am crossing my fingers this passes quickly.  I am so tired, my body is radiating with pain and discomfort. I cant just lay in bed doing nothing so I decided to work on my page a bit. I am going to take it slow today and hope tomm I will wake up to the sun on my face and be able to take a bike ride. Have a great weekend!
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